Boy, lately I have been having to get really clear on the meaning of words. I've spent alot of time reading different in depth definitions of words like "overwhelm" and "integrity." It's fucking wild how we take these words and apply nuanced meanings to them that can confuse even basic conversations. Knowing that words have different meaning for different people, it's almost as if me feeling like no one understands me or ever will is true because no one truly can given the individualized interpretation of words. Then there is body language…Just yesterday I was talking with my neighbor. Her mom has dementia and is totally bed ridden and non verbal. She was telling me how even though she can’t talk, she can understand her mom through her body language. It feels like such an important part of the way we communicate with each other and we are so disconnected from it. Especially in the age of social media. Then there is my old therapist. He told me that I pay too much attention to body language. I am really coming to realize how wrong he was about that. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have put too much weight to his opinion because he also told me words don’t mean anything. In both instances, I was questioning his body language or his words…and he ultimately would gaslighting me. It’s the reason I stopped with him, but that is a whole other topic. I am just realizing though how I have been sort of training myself to shut that part off, but really, learning to hone both the ability to read body language and use words as precisely as one can is so important to understanding not only each other but ourselves.P.S.Since my therapist said "words don't mean anything" to me, I have thought about this almost obsessively. I've come up with a sort of rebuttal to someone if you ever find yourself being told those words and I want to share it.
If someone says words don't mean anything, do you believe them?
Say that, and fucking walk away from whoever for good. You don't need that shit.Boy, lately I have been having to get really clear on the meaning of words. I've spent alot of time reading different in depth definitions of words like "overwhelm" and "integrity." It's fucking wild how we take these words and apply nuanced meanings to them that can confuse even basic conversations. Knowing that words have different meaning for different people, it's almost as if me feeling like no one understands me or ever will is true because no one truly can given the individualized interpretation of words. Then there is body language…Just yesterday I was talking with my neighbor. Her mom has dementia and is totally bed ridden and non verbal. She was telling me how even though she can’t talk, she can understand her mom through her body language. It feels like such an important part of the way we communicate with each other and we are so disconnected from it. Especially in the age of social media. Then there is my old therapist. He told me that I pay too much attention to body language. I am really coming to realize how wrong he was about that. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have put too much weight to his opinion because he also told me words don’t mean anything. In both instances, I was questioning his body language or his words…and he ultimately would gaslighting me. It’s the reason I stopped with him, but that is a whole other topic. I am just realizing though how I have been sort of training myself to shut that part off, but really, learning to hone both the ability to read body language and use words as precisely as one can is so important to understanding not only each other but ourselves.P.S.Since my therapist said "words don't mean anything" to me, I have thought about this almost obsessively.
I've come up with a sort of rebuttal to someone if you ever find yourself being told those words and I want to share it.
If someone says words don't mean anything, do you believe them?
Say that, and fucking walk away from whoever for good. You don't need that shit.
Comments